Archive for January, 2008

inside17thminuteart.jpg“If you’re happy and you know it, make splashes…”

Emma and I are at her swimming lessons, she is an Aqua-tot at the YMCA. One part of the swimming session is singing songs.

“If you’re happy and you know it, kick your legs…”

I really hate this song. I am not happy. There is a pall cast on my soul from Chris’ suicide and though I have happy moments and pretend a lot (for the sake of my three living children), I am not truly happy at the core.

“If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it…”

My face seldom betrays my feelings; the sadness and despair I feel is often present.

Given all this, please don’t get me wrong: I am optimistic about the world and experience many moments of joy everyday. For example, going to swimming sessions with Emma and singing the songs with her.


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A Tool for Achieving Peace

A book I enjoyed reading when I was in college that really made a difference in my life was Peace is Every Step by Thich Naht Hanh.  It is a book about mindfulness and truly living each present moment.  I especially remember the parts about being in the moment while doing mundane tasks.  That mindfulness is something I think about often and wish to recapture.

Mindfulness has taken on a new importance now with having two toddlers and an infant.  Finding time to meditate or just relax and commune with myself or just sit and think without interruption is, presently, a rare occurrence.  Being mindful in mundane moments is a way to get that reconnection without needing additional time to do it.

I am in the process of tracking my copy of Peace is Every Step down.  It is a book I definitely recommend to any busy parent.  I will refer to it in the posts to come as part of my quest for achieving peace in my life.

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